OUR FIRST CONVERSATION, "YOU, TOO?" - PART 2 (continued)
He finally began to speak more and answer my questions now.
Jackie Wilson, Jerry Lee Lewis, Country artists, Rhythm and Blues and Jazz artists, Bluegrass. Ya know what? Dean Martin was one of my idols. I loved Dean Martin!" He proudly said. "I watched every film he was in too, wanted to look and sound like him! He's one of the stars I noticed had black hair, and the leading man always had black hair. I'm actually blonde, you know...but decided to dye my hair black when I noticed that most of the leading men had black hair! "He laughed at himself and showed another endearing quality. He easily laughed at himself and would just let his little secrets spill out so that one always knew what he was thinking deep down inside himself,... this time revealing a few of his life's decisions that determined his course in life, in fulfilling his dreams. This awareness of himself, and the choices he made were amusing to him.
"Jackie Wilson!" I almost shouted. " He's so fantastic! When I worked at Daddy's record shops for 25 cents an hour... uh huh... $.25 cents. (Elvis and I both laughed as I continued), "I collected every one of his records! He was my favorite for a long time. By the way, you did an awful lot for my family when you changed music forever. You did! Daddy's one little shop filled with 78s went from a decent little business to those three shops filled with your 45s, and we prospered because of you!" Elvis laughed. "But back to Jackie?"
"He's one helluva performer, Kathy! I used to go night after night just to see him work... you should see how he works the stage in person!"
"Oh, how I'd love to see him Live! I've only heard how spontaneous he is, that he's all over the stage!" I said.
"And at the same time he's dancing, jumping, doing the splits, Kathy... his voice is so powerful... no one could ever come close to Jackie!" Elvis excitedly interjected.
"What about the classical voices you listened to... uh... learned from?" He threw the ball back in my court yet again.
"Well,of course, I mean it's obvious... I loved classical Voice... the voices of Anna Moffo ,Joan Sutherland types, Maria Callas, Rise Stevens, Tebaldi, and ohyes,... a different voice that influenced me... I absolutely love Amalia Rodrigues!"
"Ah!" Elvis replied. "The Great Fado Singer! From Portugal! What a voice she had! "
"No one I know who is a vocalist really understands today how she could do what she did with her voice." I uttered. And once again Elvis had stumped me in amazement of his breadth of varied musical/vocal interests.
I also desperately wanted to be a comedienne, so watched and studied Joan Davis, Mitzi Green, Eve Arden, and many other great comediennes... Of course Lucy, but Joan Davis' Body Humor really fascinated me, and I tried to imitate her."
Elvis jumped in again, "You know who I love and study? Peter Sellers"!
"Oh! He's one of my favorites too! Genius! Brilliant!" And then it went to animals.I started with, "I also raise horses, different breeds, but my half-arab mare is going to the nationals soon."
He responded to that immediately. "I have horses too! I have a Tennessee Walking Horse, and a quarter horse, and well... I love animals... especially horses."
"So do I! I can't think of an animal I don't love. Even took my pet snake to church with me one Sunday mornin'. Scared the ladies on the front pew to death. (Elvis almost died here).
I have too many dogs, take in strays, find them homes... and cats. Also a menagerie goats, ducks, chickens, rabbits. I get peace of mind at my home with all the animals."
Somehow in the middle of all of this exchange we jumped to the history of different instruments ,and I was surprised again at his deep knowledge about all of them! (Too much to write about here, but he knew even more than I did about the history of many instruments...ancient instruments, and how they evolved into our modern ones, where they took on new life as sailors from different parts of the world dropped them into the laps of new people and their nations. Will have to write about this another time.Suffice it to say that I was extremely impressed with this man whom I had short changed due to his historical image. I absolutely loved this about Elvis.) Then I recall interjecting this connection at some point:
"The Human Voice for me, is the MOST SACRED of INSTRUMENTS. The Body with the mind and spirit..if all connected in harmony and balance... well,that's THE INSTRUMENT... the one that I am obsessed with most."
He then inhaled deeply, and shaking his head said with another huge smile,"Kathy! Kathy,Kathy". You are just like me. I KNEW IT!" he emphasized. "I Knew it right away."
I just began feeling more comfortable with this young man who was now intriguing me more and more, and I remember a welcome silence... just staring ahead, not looking at him, puzzled at how different he was from the image I'd had of him when he impulsively took his hand, pulled my face and eyes back towards his, brushed my too-long hair away from my face a bit, (it was just a few inches above my waist) staring right through me for a long moment, then kissed me.
I'd love to be able to say that I liked it... I did not. And I reverted right back to where I had been emotionally earlier. I did the stupidest thing! My instinctive response was to cross my eyes and stand up to leave. He immediately jumped up and turned his back to me as I planned a quick exit. (This also, as I have mentioned in a note here on FB was to become a well known habit he had when he wanted to ask me a question and was fearful of my possible answer. )
He was wounded, or at least acted like it from what I could tell by his stance and facing away from me.
"Kathy, can't you see? We are meant to be friends! You can cross your eyes all you want, but we are meant to know each other!" he said a tad loud, and firmly.
Then as he turned towards me he rapidly fired at me with an intense look on his face, grinding his jaw as he habitually did when his nerves were aroused. "You want to know about me? Well... She and I Live separate lives, Kathy. She sees who she wants to see, and I see who I want to see! As long as we don't embarrass each other publicly, or do anything in front of each other. We've been living that way for a very long time. We have this arrangement. We have given each other permission to have other relationships."
Now I was totally baffled. I honestly had never heard of such a ridiculous "arrangement". I did not even know how to begin to respond. I have no idea what I did for a few seconds, but just stand there and think how ridiculous that sounded for a moment.
"What?" I finally mustered. "That's crazy!" I blurted out without even a thought. His expression told me clearly that he was disturbed by that, I remember putting my hands over my mouth and wishing so much that I hadn't said that! Then he reached for my arm as I began to make my "out the door now" movement. This made me just say exactly what I thought, but with as much diplomacy as I could muster. This time.
"I'm sorry to have said that, but I've really never heard of any arrangement like that. I shouldn't have said what I said, the way I said it though. But please understand me now." He was quietly waiting...
"This is something I want no part of! You're a very likeable person, but...no thank you." He began pulling me closer to him, and I just blurted out something that was simply necessary to get through to him how serious I was about this. "I am not interested in this type of relationship, period! Besides... (oh Lord, I just came right out with it here) "I'm a virgin, too, and you can laugh if you want, but when I get involved with anyone it's going to not be in this type of situation! Whatever type of situation this is!"
His response was not what I expected at all. He looked completely unphased by my revelation. "That's really wonderful, Kathy! This only re-enforces my image of who you are."
"Huh?" Oh, get me out of here now was all I could think.
I grabbed for my purse,which was one of those open larger bags, and a small book I carried in it just plunked out onto the coffee table. It was "The Infinite Way" by Joel S. Goldsmith. (And FATE had intervened once again.)
He and I were each staring at this tiny little book that had just taken a tumble.
"You Too?" he asked with a refreshed spirit of curiosity and lack of tension he had shown a few moments before. "Aha! You Too!" he repeated, while smiling and nodding his head up and down.
"I have the same book,Kathy! I'll show it to you now! You and I are on the same path...I have another one similar to it that you should read... but I'll have to order a copy for you. I'll get you one!" he spoke so rapidly now.
I was stopped dead for a moment as it dawned on me that I had "seen" this emanate from him as I watched the first show from the balcony. The light I had seen shining from within himDid come from his search for Truth, enlightenment, and he Had realized himself! He had realized what I had, but was obviously further along on this journey than I.
"I just got a few of Goldsmith's books recently", I hesitantly said. "Practicing the Presence" is one of my favorites, and "Man Was Not Born To Cry".
"Oh, Kathy, we HAVE TO TALK! Please... I have been waiting for you. You Know what I am saying. I know you do... now... right now... I know you do. And I Knew it the moment I first saw you. Yes, I would like more than just friendship, but if that's all you can give me now... that's enough for me. I'll wait and hope, but it will all be up to you. I know that you don't really know me yet, but if you give me a chance, you'll see... I'm not the type of guy you think I am. And I won't ever, ever pressure you for anything more. And if that's all it ever is, that's fine too. Just let us be friends and share all of this we have in common?" He picked up the tiny book and began to read from pages he obviously knew well.
He chose this passage first:
"There is a way whereby we are able to rid ourselves of sin, sickness, poverty, and the results of wars and economic changes. This way is the exchanging of our material sense of existence for the understanding and consciousness of life and spiritual illumination."
He thumbed through more pages and found more of what he wanted to read. His voice was soft and beautiful as he continued.
"Illumination first brings peace, then confidence and assurance; it brings rest from the world's contests, and then all good flows to us through Grace. We see now that we do not live by acquiring, gaining, or achieving. We live by Grace; we possess all as the gift of God; we do not get our good because we already have all good, 'Son,Thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.' "
He said quickly repeating himself, "I could sense and see this in you the very first moment I met you, Kathy. I saw "It"! How much more do we have in common? I know there is more. There is more!"
I was now in a contradictory position. I too had seen it in him. What was odd for me was that I had just weeks before been given this book when I asked Jackie Allen a question. She was the great soprano singer in L.A. who actually recommended me first to Elvis' group. She never proselytized, preached or evangelisized, tried to recruit, but just"was" this shining-light- example of joy,peace, health, and abundance. She witnessed not by preaching, but just by BEING . One day after a session I asked her this;"You know something... somethingI want to know. I don't know exactly what it is, but you have found 'the secret'... Are you able to share that with me?" She gave me this tiny book filled with gigantic truths, and right after I read it I had begun wishing I could find someone to share this journey with, this path... this yearning for Truth. "Oh, dear God, this can't be your answer for me. This is all messed up! How could... oh no... I Asked, Sought, and Knocked for an answer, and this?... This?... no... this can't possibly be the door you'd open for me!" I thought instantly of one of my favorite sayings, "When the Student is Ready, the Master appears."
(To be Continued)